"Never hide your green hair - they can see it anyway" this is at the top of today's reading from the book The Book of Awakening. It means that we don't need to hide, no matter what anyone says. We need to believe and feel the fact that who you are is enough. Although my insides don't match my outsides, I do know that I am good enough. Inside I feel spiritually centered. Outside, I want to hide myself away. I don't feel confident or loveable.
I am going to do many things to change this behaviour. My doctor and I talked about recognizing the triggers and doing this as quickly as possible. I received a book I ordered called The Cognitive Behavioural Workbook for Weight Management. Cognitive Behaviour Therapy will give me the tools I need instead of going to the fridge or cupboard.
I did pick up groceries after my appointment this morning. I was good moving around the store until I hit the bakery section. I didn't buy anything but I fantasized about the sugary sweet goodies. I imagined the pies and how the crust would feel in my mouth, the top crust crunchy and the inside crust soft. The filling is sugary, sweet, gooey surrounding soft, squishy apple pieces.
It will take some time to make these changes and not have fantasizes about food as I walk through the store. It's something I've carried for a long time. Sometime we carry things around that we no longer need, like weight, behaviours, etc. It is time.
